"Who are you?" the little red haired girl asked suspiciously.
"Willow? Willow is that you?" Buffy asked incredulously.
"I want my mommy! Now!" the diminutive, fiery haired moppet demanded, stomping her feet in their tiny white tennis shoes all righteous three-year-old indignation.
"I'm sorry Wills, but we can't do that." Buffy said in a soothing voice to the toddler that had been her teenaged best friend up until two seconds after she'd walked in their dorm room. "Everything's gonna be okay sweetie. I promise, you'll get to see your mommy and everything but first we have to go see Giles honey." Buffy said trying to sound soothing.
"No! I want my mommy now!"
"But there are cookies at Giles'." Buffy bribed as the little red head's eyes welled up.
"I want my mommy!" She shrieked before bursting into tears.
"Oh come on sweetie, don't cry." Buffy pleaded, picking up the sobbing little girl and jiggling her on her hip as she picked up the phone and quickly punched in Giles' number.
"Giles?" she asked over the noise of the wailing that seemed to be echoing from the other line as well.
"Angel!" She cried in surprise as the familiar voice on the other end of the line explained his presence and the situation over at Giles'.
"So Xander is three years old too? Wonderful! Listen, I'm coming over with Willow now, you guys get to work on figuring out how to undo this." She instructed hanging up the phone and smiling weakly at the little girl who had yet to stop screaming.
"There! You can go down!" Buffy exclaimed exasperatedly, letting the toddler squirm out of her arms. Willow took one look around the room, judged its unfamiliarity and immediately hid behind Buffy's leg, latching onto the blonde's knee just above her boots.
"Hey Giles." She waved, closing the door behind her and walking slowly into the room so, as not to dislodge Willow, who thought the ride was way fun.
"Buffy!" He greeted. "How is Willow?" the watcher asked peering around at the suddenly quiet mini witch who peeked back at him shyly.
"Permanently attached to my leg it seems." Buffy replied, reaching around and hefting the toddler up onto her hip. "Where's..." Her voice trailed off as the subject of her query entered the room his shirtfront completely soaked as well as his hair. "Angel."
"Buffy." He nodded, keeping eye contact brief refusing to let himself open up that Pandora's box of pain right now.
Buffy nodded back, tightly. "So where's munchkin Xander?" She questioned, sitting on the couch with little Willow in her lap.
And once again the subject of her query entered the room as if on cue, this time screaming at the top of his lungs sopping wet and stark naked except for his Snoopy underoos, Cordelia and a dark haired young man following in hot pursuit. Buffy's eyebrows shot up in suppressed amusement while Giles put his head in his hands and muttered about his carpet.
"Xander! Get back here!" Cordelia demanded chasing the youngster around one side of the couch while Doyle headed him off on the other.
"What happened here?" The slayer asked her ex who smirked along with her.
"Giles gave Xander some juice, Xander figured his hair and clothes should have some as well." Angel explained almost grinning. "How about Willow?" he asked sitting next to them on the couch, the little girl peeking out at him from under her hair and Buffy's chin.
"She threw a temper tantrum back at the room that almost deafened me, but otherwise I think I've fared better than you guys with Xander." Buffy replied with a smile looking pointedly at Angel's shirt. "So if you were bathing him then what's with the underpants?"
"I'm not looking at Xander's thing! Even if he is three years old!" Cordelia answered, pushing her wet hair back from her face as Doyle carried the squirming boy back to Giles' bathroom to rinse off the rest of the suds.
Buffy laughed at the departing trio. "So Giles, how come you're not helping with clean up?" She queried.
"Because I am researching Willow's spell."
"Flat out refused to bathe Xander and asked them if they wanted to research the spell themselves huh?"
Giles smiled a bit guiltily, fastidiously cleaning his glasses. Buffy grinned. "So any luck?"
"Actually yes, it seems to have been a simple enough spell if you were correct in the book Willow used," the watcher replied rifling through some pages in a text on the desk in front of him. "Just as soon as Cordelia and Doyle are through with Xander I'll see if I can't get this little mishap righted."
"Works for me." She nodded. "Maybe then we can figure out what Doyle's vision of me meant."
Just then there came a loud banging from the door to the cupboard under the stairs. Buffy looked towards it curiously, then to Giles who continued to research quite unperturbed by the noise. Depositing Willow on a couch cushion she got up and pulled open the door to be met with the irate face of the world's only chipped vampire. "Spike? What are you doing in there?" Buffy asked.
"Bathroom's occupied." Giles called over his shoulder before the blonde vampire could reply.
Buffy snickered then snerked, then full out laughed at Spike, who just rolled his eyes. "Yuck it up Slayer! Go right ahead and have a good belly laugh at old Spike." He growled out. Buffy stepped back from the door and a shaft of sunlight fell into the closet, causing Spike to hiss and jerk back quickly. "Bloody hell!" he exclaimed.
"Bloody hell! Bloody hell!" Could be heard echoing from the hallway leading to Giles' bathroom, a few seconds later mini Xander clothed in a T-shirt that fit more like a dress and dragged along the floor as he walked, entered the room chanting "Bloody Hell! Bloody Hell!" jumping about like a jackrabbit.
Giles sighed and shook his head. "I take it we're done with the bathing ritual?" He asked the LA Trio who nodded, Doyle looking like he was fighting laughter at Angel and Cordy's drenched states.
"Shall we proceed with the spell then?" Giles asked with a devilish entirely un-Giles-like grin at Angel trying to restrain Xander from climbing up on Spike.
"Please!" Came the tortured response from everyone besides the two toddlers in the room, who were currently whispering secretively in each other's ears, giving the grown-ups suspicious looks.
"Very well." The watcher acquiesced, "Doyle, why don't you help me roll up the rug." He instructed while Buffy went to lower the blinds to keep Giles' nosy neighbors from looking in on the festivities.
Once the rug was rolled away, Giles produced a large bag of red sand, which he directed Cordy to pour into the shape of a pentagram and then asked Buffy and Angel to bring baby Willow and Xander and place them in the center, grumbling all the while about just how much trouble it would be to get the sand up off the floor. Lighting candles at each of the star points Giles opened the book and began to read the spell, Willow and Xander staring at him in fascination. He was at a crucial part of the spell when disaster struck.
Spike, who had emerged from the closet, once the curtains were drawn, to watch the spell had overbalanced somehow, his chains preventing him from catching himself in time he pitched forward, knocking into Angel and Buffy sending all three of them topping into the pentagram. Almost instantly there was a great flash of green light that sent almost everyone in the room flying backwards with such force that it was several minutes before anyone moved again.
"You okay Princess?" Doyle asked, sitting up and wincing at the pain in the back of his head from when he'd struck the wall.
"Yeah, I think so." Cordy replied, removing her head from his chest with some degree of awkwardness. "What about you Angel?" the girl questioned looking around the living room for their 'boss'. "Angel?" She called a bit louder when there was no response.
"Oh dear lord!" Giles' exclamation came at the exact instant Cordy and Doyle spotted the ensouled vampire, or rather what had once been the ensouled vampire.
Or perhaps that should be what would be, the ensouled vampire. Either way the little boy with huge chocolate eyes and spiky dark hair really did look like his future nickname would be, an absolute Angel. He shyly smiled at Cordelia and Doyle who were both frozen in shock.
Doyle was the first to voice his thoughts. "Oh sh..." Cordy's hand clapped over his mouth.
"Crap." She finished for him with a warning look at the five little pairs of eyes that looked up at them.
The two then turned to Giles who had an expression that seemed to repeat Doyle's almost statement as he gazed from baby Angel to a little boy with short slicked back blonde hair and blue, blue eyes that Cordelia realized with almost shock was Spike, his usually prominent cheekbones softened by infantile roundness. He had still been wearing his leather trench coat when the spell was cast and it now swished around his tiny jean clad ankles as he swayed under their scrutiny next to little Buffy, like the other two, was still in the clothes she'd been wearing and Doyle had to smirk at the little girl in the short skirt and halter-top.
Turning Doyle found that Cordelia and Giles seemed to be at a loss as to what to do so he stepped towards the trio. "Hey munchkins, what are your names?" He asked cheerfully, unsure as to what Angel and Spike would remember about themselves.
"My name's Liam." Angel announced proudly, his own Irish lilt coming out in his speech.
"I'm Buffy!" She piped up with a winning smile. "Are you the baby sitter?"
Doyle smiled to himself and nodded at the little girl. "That's right I'm Doyle and that's Cordelia and Mr. Giles."
Buffy grinned and waved at the other two. "When's mommy coming back Doyle?"
Doyle turned and arched an eyebrow at Giles who stood silent for a few seconds before catching on and with a nod turned to the phone to ring Joyce.
"In a little while Buffy." Giles said, covering the receiver as he spoke.
"Now what about you kiddo, what's your name?" Doyle asked Spike.
"William." Spike said quietly, his head down, eyes on the floor.
"Hi, William." Cordelia greeted, crouching down in front of him. "How are you?"
"I'm fine thanks." He replied bashfully, stubbing his toe against the ground.
"So, how would you three like to go watch some TV?"
"Cool!" Buffy yelled while Angel and Spike looked at him in confusion.
"Come on, we'll just sit you guys down with Willow and Xander..." Doyle turned a kid under each arm with Cordy holding little Spike's hand, to find Willow and Xander had disappeared.
"Oh,"
"Crap!"
"Willow? Xander?" No answer.
"Willow? Xander? Where are you?"
There was giggling from behind the couch.
"Willow and Xander you come out from behind there right now!" Giles instructed sternly as he hung up the phone.
"Nuh uh!" Willow replied stubbornly.
"Willow." Doyle tried, putting Buffy and Angel on the couch and kneeling on it to look over at the little witch and Xander who were sitting calmly on the floor, pens and pencils strewn around them.
"Look Doyle! It's a fire truck!" Xander said proudly displaying his artwork done on Giles' living room wall.
"Oops!" Buffy cried with a grin.
"You're in trouble!" Angel told him in a singsong voice, the two of them flanking Doyle on either side.
"Nobody's in trouble." Doyle cut in immediately as he watched Willow's eyes fill with tears, heading off another tantrum from the mini witch, while Xander just looked down guiltily, scuffing the side of his shoe against the carpet.
"We're not?" The little boy asked hopefully, turning big puppy dog eyes on Doyle who shook his head at Xander.
"No you're not. Though I'm sure you will be when you grow up." The ex teacher said with a wry grin at Giles, who was just coming back from the kitchen with a sponge and some soap.
"So, um Giles, why are they like that?" Cordelia asked nodding at the toddlers seated on Giles' living room couch staring at Cartoons on the TV, Willow, Xander and Buffy looking on in almost as much awe as Angel and Spike.
"As much as I can tell Cordelia, because Buffy, Spike and Angel all fell into the circle as the spell was being undone, they not only interrupted it but as the effects took hold again they were drawn into it as well, unfortunately the spell to undo this particular one can only be done once every two days to give the energies time to recharge.
"You mean we're stuck with the little monsters for another two days?!" Cordelia's shriek was drowned out by a loud scream from the couch.
"Lalalalalala I can't hear you!" Xander taunted.
"Doesn't matter if you can't hear me! He's still better!" Buffy returned.
"Is not!" Xander indignantly exclaimed, pulling his fingers out of his ears.
"Is so!"
"Is not!" Willow chimed in with Xander
Buffy gave the other little girl a hurt look before replying "Is so!" and pushed Xander. Xander immediately shoved her back, right into Angel, who pushed Xander and then Buffy hit him.
"Hey! He's my friend only I can push him!" She told Angel with a little glare.
"You're stupid!" Angel announced and pushed Buffy.
"Yeah! And you have stupid hair!" Spike agreed, siding with Angel. Buffy glared at the two and drew back her fist to hit them both when
"Buffy Anne Summers!" called a voice from the doorway breaking up the little argument.
"Mommy!" She squealed, speeding over to attach herself to Joyce's knees. "Hi!" She said excitedly, grinning from ear to ear.
"Were you fighting?" Joyce demanded.
Buffy's expression immediately grew guilty and her eyes dropped to the floor. "Not really."
"Buffy!"
"Liam pushed Xander! He can't do that! Only I can push Xander!" She pouted.
Joyce sighed heavily and crouched down.
"Honey, you're not allowed to push or hit anybody. Is that clear?"
"Yes mommy." The little girl replied dejectedly, giving Angel and Spike the evil eye that promised retribution when no adults were in the room.
"How did all this happen?" Joyce queried, her eyes wandering from the teacup she was absently stirring over to the five rug-rats who sat quietly drawing with Giles' highlighters and yellow legal notepad.
Giles sighed and pushed a hand through his hair. "From what Buffy said it seems Willow did some sort of 'my will be done' spell and wished herself and Xander to be children again, although I doubt she meant to do that and then well I've already briefed you on the Buffy, Spike and Angel happening. I'm just grateful they're being quiet now because I'd no idea anything under three feet tall could have that kind of lung capacity." The watcher joined her in looking at the mini-versions of the Scooby gang, shaking his head slowly. Two days? He wasn't going to be able to handle them for two more hours!
He had just taken off his glasses to clean them when a little voice piped up from his living room.
"Mista Giles, I's hungry." Baby Angel announced, dropping his blue highlighter.
"Hungry?" Giles blanched.
"Me too!" yelled little Spike.
Giles and Joyce looked at each other in bewilderment.
"I want cake!"
"Me too! Me too!"
Giles stared at the two mini vampires for a moment before clearing his throat and reaching out to take little Spike's hand. Sure enough, there was a pulse at the tiny wrist, Joyce who had repeated the movement on baby Angel nodded at him as well. Well at least they weren't going to have to deal with baby vamps on a feeding frenzy.
Now Buffy and Xander had started up the chant for cake as well and of course Willow would want and so that meant five, three year olds eating cake in his living room. Oh dear Lord, the floor was definitely never going to come clean after that, not to mention his couch!
Thankfully Joyce was taking charge of the situation, and although it looked like a mutiny would occur when she announced there was no cake it was quickly snuffed out by the promise of it after dinner. Dinner, that was right, they'd have to feed the little devils something, and they'd indubitably spill it all over themselves and so there would have to be new clothes and of course more baths and then they'd have to be put to bed and good grief he was now positive he was grateful he hadn't had children.
The watcher was snapped out of his thoughts by his front door opening to admit Cordelia and Doyle who had gone out to pick up Dawn from school. "So, they're really all three?" the thirteen year old asked Cordelia as she followed her and Doyle in. Cordy smiled at Dawn and gestured towards the five toddlers, mobbing her mother. Dawn grinned evilly as she spotted tiny little baby Buffy and turned to Giles. "Are you sure we can't leave them like this?" She asked with a wide smile. Joyce shot her an exasperated look, gently dislodging Xander's grip on Spike's hair whilst Dawn merely grinned innocently back at her mom.
"So, um, what are we going to do with them till we can change em back anyways?" The girl asked as she deposited her bookbag on Giles' already crowded table. "I mean who's going to watch them, where are they going to sleep? I'm not giving up my room!" She announced, returning Cordy's amused smile.
"Where ARE we keeping them Giles?" Cordelia asked. All eyes turned to Joyce who sighed and nodded her head.
"They'll all come home with me. But you're all coming to help, I have work to go to tomorrow and I have to be up early." She warned.
"Good then, now that that's settled, what say we move the fort." Doyle suggested.
"Who's up for a drive?" Cordy asked brightly, all the toddlers immediately start screaming their agreement.
Herding the kids out the door and into Angel's large black convertible proved to be quite the task but was eventually accomplished and each adult was soon seated with a toddler in their lap excluding Doyle who was driving, the 'bat mobile' as Cordelia had dubbed it, with noticeable glee and Dawn who got two, stuffed in the back with Cordy and Giles. The engine roared to life, Angel whimpered and little Spike's lower lip trembled with the threat of tears.
"Hey, hey, it's okay." Cordy hushed peremptorily, casting Giles and Dawn worried looks as Angel started to whimper louder.
"Look William, we're flying." Joyce suddenly exclaimed, pointing out the window. Pulling the little boy closer she let him look out at the ground that was speeding past swiftly, his lips formed a perfect O and he was immediately fascinated. Grateful for the reprieve, Cordy hoisted Angel over to look out the window too while Buffy and Xander never ones to be outdone scrambled over Giles' lap to stare out his window.
"We're not flying!" the little blonde protested with a glare at Spike who was sitting in her mommy's lap.
"We're just driving!" Xander pouted.
"Yes, but we're driving on air not land Xander." Dawn quickly covered.
"Really?" the boy questioned, his eyes wide as saucers as he scrambled back over Giles to stare out at the road.
"Yes, really." Giles replied, wincing as bony three-year-old knees dug into his thigh.
"Wow!" he exclaimed, leaning further out the window to try to see below the car but the ex watcher grabbed onto the back of Xander's shirt and pulled him back inside.
"Xander, I'm sure you've been told not to stick yourself outside of the window." Giles scolded, while Xander completely ignored him and resumed staring out the window. With a heavy sigh, Giles resigned himself to completing the drive holding on to the back of Xander's shirt.
Fifteen long minutes later they finally pulled up in front of the Summers' home and Buffy and Xander were out the door before the car had even come to a complete stop so they could see if it was in the air or on the ground. Unfortunately for them by the time they got by Giles the car was no longer on and so they didn't know what to think but just stood there pouting for a few seconds before Buffy smacked Xander on the arm.
"Tag! You're it!" She announced, sprinting away. Xander stood for a second looking stunned before hitting an unaware Angel who was standing next to him.
"You're it!" he told the other boy before running off after Buffy.
Willow and Spike looked at each other for a second before shrugging and running off after the other three, leaving Giles and Cordy to sputter in disbelief while Doyle, Dawn and Joyce chased after the rug rats, catching them before they crossed over into other yards.
"No tag in the front yard!" Joyce scolded as they all made their way up the front steps. Transferring Buffy to Giles' arms she fished her keys out of her purse and unlocked the front door. The whole gang trooped in after her and then stood around waiting for instructions. Joyce blanched at all the expectant faces turned to her. Well she had always wanted to help with a Scooby gang problem.
Heaving a large sigh and rolling her eyes heavenward Joyce launched into General Mom mode. "Okay, Giles there's instant mashed potatoes in the kitchen, make up a batch of that and open a can of tuna to go with it, I'll be in to help in a minute. Cordelia, Doyle, go to the mall and get two changes of clothes each for the kids including underwear, oh and pick up some jello and juice and a bunch of macaroni and cheese dinners. Dawnie, you go down to the basement and see if you can't find you and Buffy's baby clothes, they should be in a box near the window. Okay?"
Everyone nodded and filed out, Doyle with a salute and a big grin as he followed Cordy out to the car, arguing all the way over who got to drive.
Joyce sighed and stared down at the five little munchkins she was left with, who were being remarkably quiet. Flashing them a bright smile she grabbed Spike and Willow's hands and led the way into the living. "Okay troops, follow me!" she said wondering what on earth to do now. Settling them all onto the couch she turned on the television, flipping around for a few minutes before thankfully landing on Sesame Street, in Spanish nonetheless but hey they weren't really listening anyways. Leaving the quintet to happily vegetate Joyce escaped to the kitchen.
"So, how are the potatoes coming? She inquired of Giles as he sat at the table looking befuddled by the instructions on the back of the pack, kettle boiling merrily away.
"I...er..am not quite sure," he stammered. "I got the tuna open though." He said pointing to a blue bowl full of the slightly pink fish.
Joyce smiled and patted his hand reassuringly, getting up she checked the cupboard and was relieved to find neither Buffy nor Dawn had discovered the Twinkies from the last time she went grocery shopping.
"Sweets to soothe the savage beasts later." She explained to Giles with a grin. He laughed and nodded.
"Quite right. Joyce, I do apologize for landing them all on you like this but I really am completely at odds as to what to do with five toddlers."
She waved him off with a smile. "Oh don't worry about it, I fully intend on leaving you with them tomorrow morning and not coming home until at least five." The two shared a friendly smile, feeling at ease with each other after all those months of awkwardness following the band candy incident.
The moment was broken by Dawn tramping down the stairs loudly. Reaching the kitchen doorway she stumbled over her own feet and would have pitched forward if it hadn't been for Giles grabbing her arm and one of the boxes she was carrying.
"Dawnie sweetie you okay?" Joyce asked solicitously as she took the remaining box from her.
"Yeah I'm fine. Thanks Giles."
Giles nodded and caught Joyce's eyes over Dawn's head before looking away hastily, and the awkwardness was back.
Joyce turned to see about fixing up the mashed potatoes while Dawn and Giles set to sorting out what clothes could and could not be used in the next few days.
"Wonder how Doyle's managing, shopping with Cordelia." Dawn remarked as she unfolded a pair of ruffled velvet dresses with lace at the collar and wrists, making a face at the thought of having worn one of them.
Cordelia made almost the same face at the overalls that Doyle held up.
"Oh please! Willow dresses badly enough at her own age, we're not putting her in that now that we have a chance to get her in something decent looking!"
Shrugging amiably, Doyle laid to rest along with several of its predecessors. Looking from the basket he was in charge of, to Cordelia's laden arms he decided that four hours, three stores and two outfits apiece for each of the little tykes was more than enough shopping.
"Delia, that's the fifth suggestion you've turned down in as many minutes, I think we've exhausted the store and the sales people as well, what do ya say we head home eh?"
Cordy turned incredulous eyes on him, "You really want to go back to those little screaming banshees?" she queried.
Doyle debated answering that he was tired of shopping and didn't really care if he was going home to a house full of piranhas but decided it would be in his best interests not to and so said "I like kids." with a little shrug.
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Sure Doyle, and next you'll be telling me you taught third grade too." She said sarcastically, nevertheless heading towards the checkout counter. "But I get to drive this time!" She informed him haughtily, turning when she got no response to find Doyle intensely absorbed in the pattern of the tile beneath his feet. Rolling her eyes and snatching the car keys out of his hand, she happily approached the register.
"So what about you Princess?" He asked as they exited the mall.
"What about me?" Cordy asked, slightly swinging the bags. It had been a good long while since she'd left a mall with this many bags and she was intent on enjoying it, ignoring the fact that it was baby clothes in her packages.
"Don't you like children?"
Cordy gave a completely unladylike snort. "Oh please Doyle. How on earth can one like annoying little snot nosed brats that are perpetually noisy and dirty? They're like little demons, except you can't kill them."
"So you don't think you'll ever have kids then?"
"Pffft!" Cordy pfft-ed. "Decidedly not, besides, with the example I've had, my kids would probably hate me." She said with just a hint of bitterness colouring her tone.
"You and your mum don't exactly have the greatest relationship do you?" Doyle queried gently.
Cordy shot him a look that screamed 'Duh!' but deigned not to reply, instead fishing the keys out of her purse and deactivating the alarm as they got closer to the car. "Me and mine aren't exactly on the best of terms either." He told her, resting a warm hand on her shoulder. Cordy turned and gave him a small, tired smile and something in her hazel eyes softened, but then just as quickly as it had appeared it was gone and Cordy was handing him the bags and ordering him to put them in the trunk with the same imperious Queen C tone she used all the time.
Reaching the house twenty minutes later they were just in time to catch the last vestiges of the pandemonium that had occurred.
"Giles?" Cordy called as the two stepped around the overturned coat rack and stared at the mess that was once the Summers' neat living room.
Hearing giggles from the kitchen they headed in that direction. Doyle had barely taken two steps when he was accosted by a speeding bundle of mini slayer and vamp. Buffy immediately ducked behind his leg, Angel abandoning him in favour of Cordelia and then before they could blink there were mashed potatoes sliding down his pant leg and Cordelia was looking like she was ready to start screaming before she noticed the food missile had hit the bag she was carrying and not her top.
The opportunity to scream however did not entirely go away however and re-presented itself a few moments later through a flying gob of grape juice soaked mashed potatoes that landed in her hair. Cordy's cry of outrage was drowned out by excited shrieking and giggling coming from the toddlers as they continued to pelt and be pelted but the potatoes hadn't come from any of them, no, but from a very sheepish Rupert Giles who stood abashedly wiping his glasses on the bottom of his grape juice drenched shirt. Beyond him Joyce and Dawn Summers giggled behind their hands as the food fight continued to rage around them Angel and Buffy abandoning their hiding places and rushing back into the fight where Xander was smushing potatoes into Willow's hair and she was squirting juice from her juice box back at him and little Spike who had somehow managed to climb up onto the counter was spraying everyone with water from the faucet.
Cordelia gazed from one laughing face to the other as she scooped the potatoes out of her hair, turned ever so slowly with narrowed eyes to Doyle who immediately tried to stop smirking and then smushed the potatoes into his face.
"Hey!" He cried, wiping some potatoes off a speeding toddler and retaliating and the food fight raged on.
Joyce Summers got carefully out of bed Wednesday morning, five minutes before the alarm was supposed to go off. Slipping across the room she pushed the button to deactivate it and then woke Dawn up. Placing a finger to her lips she pushed her second daughter into the bathroom then crept up the hall to peek in her room for a look at the fearsome five on her bed. Xander and Willow were curled up facing each other in the top left hand corner, Angel lay spread eagled across the foot of the bed, Buffy scrunched into a ball in between him and Spike who was curled on his side sucking a thumb, his peroxided blond hair sticking up in all directions. She couldn't help but smile at the 'little demons' they were all so cute asleep never mind all the trouble she'd had, to get them to sleep.
A shadow fell across her own, alerting her to another presence in the doorway. She smiled up at Giles whose hair reminded her of Spike's at the moment. "They're still asleep thank goodness, I give em about an hour and a half again, two if you're lucky." "Thank heavens for small favours." He replied with a smile of his own that lit up the green eyes behind his glasses. "Cordelia and Doyle still asleep in Buffy's room?" She asked noticing the door was partially opened now. Giles nodded, scratching his head, making his hair stick up even more. "Cordelia seems to have mellowed since her move to LA." He commented as they walked down the hall, quietly closing the door to Joyce's bedroom. Joyce craned her neck around to catch a glimpse of the sleeping girl through the open doorway, long chestnut tresses spread out across the pillow, one hand hanging over the side of the bed inches above Doyle's sleeping face. She smiled at the sight and nodded at Giles' observation. "I can't quite put my finger on how but you're right she has."
"Don't suppose there's any coffee?" Giles questioned as they made their way down the stairs. "Give me ten minutes." Joyce promised, patting his arm as she headed towards the opposite end of the kitchen. "Full house this morning." He offered when she sat across from him, waiting for the coffee to percolate. Joyce nodded with a smile. "Fuller than it's been in a while what with Buffy at college and Dawn starting high school." "So you're having a bit of the 'empty nest' blues too, huh?" Joyce laughed. "Is it just me or do you feel obsolete now? Dawn turns to Buffy for most everything despite all their bickering and Buffy, she's so very rarely at home in any case." "Well it's not just us, Xander is feeling the separation college has brought on just as keenly, he even suggested sparking some hell mouth activity the other day so we'd all have a reason to congregate." "Well that explains why he's been hanging around so much recently, offering to baby-sit Dawn and such, poor thing must be so lonely."
Dawn pattered quietly down the stairs and into the kitchen hoping the munchkins wouldn't wake up till after she'd left. It was fun having all the babies around but intensely tiring. She stopped in the doorway, severely wigged by the sight that greeted her. Giles was puttering around mixing in cream and sugar into two cups of coffee while regaling her mother with tales from when he'd been in a band. What was wigging her out however was the way Joyce was giggling at the story and the way she smiled at Giles when she accepted the cup of coffee, pronouncing it perfect after the first sip. She stood silently just out of sight watching as Giles sat down and the two continued to converse cosily over their steaming mugs.
Substitute her dad with Giles and it was a scene she had witnessed countless other mornings. Her stomach did a little flip flop when she noticed how close they were sitting. She cleared her throat loudly as she detached herself from the wall and entered the kitchen, walking over to the refrigerator without once looking at them.
"Shower's free." She informed her mom as she poured orange juice at the counter, pointedly ignoring the way the two flushed guiltily even though she was pretty sure all they'd been doing was talking. "Thanks sweetie." Joyce replied, squeezing her shoulder as she passed her on the way upstairs. Dawn arched an eyebrow at her sister's ex-watcher after her mother left and Giles suddenly became very interested in making sure that all the sugar dissolved in his coffee, stirring with renewed vigour.
Cordelia awoke to the bouncing of the mattress beneath her. "Stop shaking the damn bed Dennis!" She ordered, flinging an arm over her eyes without ever opening them till the gasps registered around her. "You said a bad word!" William exclaimed sounding shocked. "You're in trouble!" Xander announced, bouncing harder. "I'm gonna tell!" Buffy informed her smugly. "You are, are you?" Doyle's voice came from somewhere on the floor, arms reaching up and plucking down the already giggling little blonde and tickling her. Cordelia grinned evilly at the remaining four and wiggled her fingers, causing shrieks of laughter as they scrambled to get off the bed. She caught up with Angel and Spike who were bedecked in Batman and Robin footie pj's respectively, tickling them silly, awed by the sound of Angel's laughter, the sight of Spike's lit up face. This is what they were like back then, these are the people they were meant to be, Cordy realized with a start, fingers falling away. Doyle seemed to notice her sudden change in mood and stopped tickling Buffy, getting up off the floor he smiled brightly at everyone announcing it was time for breakfast. The ex- cheerleader smiled gratefully up at him for the distraction and helped urge the troops down to the kitchen.
Cheerios and milk was had by all including Joyce's living room carpet where breakfast took place in front of the TV that blared Sesame Street at ungodly levels thanks to Spike having discovered how to work the remote control. As eating concluded and Giles' prowess with a wet/dry vac was proven, Doyle started rounding up the little monsters for another cleaning. "Oh why don't we just take 'em out to the backyard and hose 'em down?" Cordelia demanded from where she had collapsed on the love seat, legs over one arm, head resting comfortably on the other. "I think they'd like that." Doyle snickered.
An hour later there were five squeaky-clean toddlers three tired adults and one soaked bathroom. Cordelia gave the wet towels strewn around a distasteful look before pulling the bathroom door shut behind her. 'What you can't see, you don't have to clean.' She decided with a devilish grin. Never before was she so grateful for having Phantom Dennis, she decided to do something nice for him when she got back to LA.
Sitting down on the edge of Buffy's bed, she began to pull a comb through baby Willow's short red hair. "Ow! Cordy no!" the little girl whined, squirming away. Turning to shoot Doyle a long-suffering look, she was surprised to find Buffy's hair combed out already, in a loose lopsided ponytail and the look turned into a glare that softened into something different as she watched him tickle the bottom of Buffy's foot causing the little girl to shriek and giggle before he slipped on the sandals they'd picked out the day before. Doyle snapped the final piece of Velcro into place and looked up catching Cordelia's gaze before she could turn her head away. The two stared at each other in silence for a minute before Willow kicked Cordy in the shin for pulling her hair too hard with the comb, breaking the moment.
"Swap with me Doyle, so I can save Buffy from the embarrassment of eighties hair." Cordy instructed kneeling next to him. She fastened Buffy's left shoe as Doyle shrugged and rose out of his crouch. "Two ponytails or four Willow?" he asked the little redhead brightly.
"Summers Day care Centre." Cordelia answered the phone in full on snark mode. Xander, Spike and Angel, who got along fabulously now that they were all three, had been running around screaming for the past hour and a half. Doyle claimed they were playing cops and robbers or sheriffs and peasants as Angel and Spike called it. She wasn't entirely sure who were cops and who were peasants but she swore if Doyle 'accidentally' squirted her with that water gun again there would be hell to pay.
The boys had declared that the girls had cooties and refused to play with them and so Cordy had been left to entertain the mini witch and slayer who had insisted they be shut into the hall closet so they could see their light up sandals, light up when they stomped. This had seemed like a grand idea to Cordelia until the two little girls started howling at the top of their lungs that there was a monster in the cupboard.
Cordy, Doyle and Giles had burst into the cupboard brandishing a spatula, baseball bat and axe, scaring the little girls even more than the 'monster', which turned out to be Mrs. Summers' feathered coat. The two announced Cordy was mean and would not be calmed until Giles offered to play tea party with them. The sight of Giles with the feathered coat wrapped around his neck boa style, with a tiny fluorescent pink teacup clasped between thumb and index finger, pinkie pointed straight out almost made the entire day worth it. Almost...except it wasn't even noon yet and it didn't look like the little demons were going to be going down for a nap either.
"Cordelia? School let out early, can you or Giles come pick me up?" Dawn's voice, tinny and scratchy from the payphone came over the line.
A slow sly smile spread over Cordy's face. "Of course Dawnie, I'll be right there." She told the teen.
Hanging up the phone, she grabbed the keys to Angel's convertible. "Dawn needs a ride home from school, I'm gonna go pick her up!" The brunette announced, rushing for the door, waving to baby Angel and Willow who had followed her into the foyer.
"Wait a minute, I'll come with you!" Giles called, rising from the kitchen table.
"Thanks but no thanks. Really not a two person job." Cordy insisted, and was out the door leaving Giles to stare after her with a 'bloody hell, this is so unfair!' expression.
Doyle smiled at the ex-watcher and shook his head. "That's Cordelia for you."
"It certainly is." Giles sighed. "I guess some things never change." He grumbled.
And some things really didn't ever change, like Cordelia's ability to make a person feel as if they were two feet tall.
Cordy watched from Angel's car as a tall blonde girl said something that made Dawn's face fall. The thirteen-year-old quickly took a step backwards and looked around for an escape but none was to be had as the blonde and her two cohorts giggled mercilessly.
"Dawn! There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" Cordy exclaimed, exiting the car and ascending the school steps. Dawn's face broke out into a relieved smile.
"Cordelia, hi!"
"And who are your little friends?"
"Melanie, Allison and Kirstie." Dawn introduced cheeks pink with embarrassment as the three tittered among themselves.
"I love your shoes Kirstie!" Cordy gushed facetiously. "Did you skin em yourself?" she added dryly rolling her eyes with Dawn while the third of the dastardly trio blushed and stammered over her leopard print sandals and her friends snickered.
"You ready to go Dawnie? I think the lack of fashion sense might be catching." Cordelia said, staring pointedly at Kirstie's two friends. With a flip of her hair over one shoulder and a hand on Dawn's arm the two marched off. Cordelia smiled widely, it was nice to let out her inner bitch every now and then.
"What do ya say Dawnie, wanna grab lunch before we head back to the baby pit?" She asked, putting the top down on the convertible as she pulled out of the parking lot, enojoying the feel of the sun beating down on her shoulders.
Dawn grinned conspiratorially at Cordelia. "And leave Doyle and Giles to fend for themselves all alone with the little monsters?" Dawn asked her smile belying the innocent tone in her voice.
"And when we get home we'll see if I can't pick out an outfit for you that'll have Kirstie and her minions coming to you for fashion tips." Cordy offered, smoothly pulling into traffic on main street.
"Thanks Cordelia." Dawn replied sincerely.
"And the last one is down for the count!" Doyle whisper exclaimed as he re-entered the living room. Giles smiled tiredly at the young half demon.
"I feel as though I'd like a nap myself." He confessed, cleaning his glasses on the bottom of his shirt.
"Bet you're glad we're not leaving them like this." The half-bracken grinned.
Giles nodded emphatically, even as his mind strayed to the pulse pounding at baby Spike's wrist and little Angel's red cheeks. Should they leave them like this he wondered.
"Giles?"
The messy haired little blonde trailing a large pink blanket behind her startled the watcher out of his ruminations fifteen minutes later.
"Buffy! What are you doing out of bed?" He asked the child, who shrugged and climbed up on the couch. He had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn't noticed Doyle slip out of the room or when Buffy came in.
"I had a nightmare." She explained, sleepily rubbing her hazel eyes as she settled into his lap. Curling trustingly into him, she laid her head on his shoulder. "Is it okay if I sleep here with you?" She asked, already halfway there.
"Of course Buffy," he responded, circling an arm around her.
"Cool." She said, closing her eyes and snuggling deeper into his shoulder. She was soon off in dreamland, leaving Giles once again, alone with his thoughts. Absent-mindedly he settled the blanket around her more snugly and brushed a wisp of golden hair away from her cheek.
Giles looked down at the sleeping toddler in his arms and was slightly awed by how small she truly was and yet how perfect, every single little fingernail and eyelash complete in minute detail. Yes, he'd viewed all the scoobies as his kids, especially Buffy, but it was now, putting her to bed that he realized how much he wasn't their father. He hadn't been the man who'd done this night after night, who'd read the bedtime stories and changed the diapers and gotten up for midnight feedings and it was just hitting him how much he'd missed out on. Oh sure he could still have kids but who would he have them with and did he really want to bring such a fragile life into this dangerous, uncertain world.
The front door opened and Cordelia and Dawn came in, deep in conversation the two didn't even notice the watcher. Giles stayed silent watching them, taking note of how much nicer Cordelia was although the girl had always had a soft spot for Dawn. Doyle came up to the pair and they started discussing what to make for lunch, smiled at Doyle's indignation when the two girls informed him they'd already had lunch. Saw the way Doyle looked at Cordelia, saw Cordy gently brush a hand through Dawn's long caramel coloured hair in a genuine gesture of affection and smiled. Maybe some things did change after all.
Buffy mumbled something in her sleep and Giles shook his head. Enough thinking for right now he decided, rising from the couch and making his way up the stairs to deposit the little girl on her bed, next to a slumbering Willow.
"So what are we going to do with them when they wake up?" Dawn asked Cordelia who was staring at the back of the living room couch, which Doyle was sprawled out on, in annoyance. So she'd left them alone to deal with the little monsters for almost two hours, the demon spawn were asleep for at least half an hour of that! Really was that any reason to stick her with babysitting duty all by herself!
"Hmm?" she hmmed.
"The babies," Dawn clarified. "What are we going to do with them once they wake up, it'll be pretty soon you know..." Cordelia's horrified expression caused Dawn to trail off.
"Soon as in, two hours is soon or soon as in ten minutes is soon?" Cordy demanded.
A loud bump was heard from upstairs and the two girls exchanged panicked looks.
"Soon as in right now." came Doyle's smart assed reply from the sofa.
Cordy shot him a glare as she ran past him, hoping against hope that only one of them was awake and hadn't woken the others with whatever the bump had been.
They rushed into Joyce's room to find Willow on the floor, tears welling quickly in her big green eyes.
"Willow? Are you okay?" Dawn asked crouching down in front of the little girl. Lower lip trembling she scrubbed at her eyes with tiny fists before letting loose a terrific wail.
"Oh God!" Cordelia muttered, glancing worriedly at the other sleeping toddlers.
"Hey Will, come on now, don't cry." She crooned, kneeling next to Dawn. "Be a big girl." She encouraged. The tiny redhead opened her mouth to wail again and Cordy clamped a hand over it.
"Come on Willow, if you don't cry I'll give you a twinkie!"
Willow's tears started to dry up. "A twinkie?" She asked interest taking the place of temper on her face.
"Uh huh! They're down stairs! Want to go get one?" Dawn wheedled.
Quickly Willow nodded. "Yes!"
"Yes what?" Cordelia asked feeling smug. Crisis averted and without Doyle's help too!
"Yes please." The little girl replied and Cordy exchanged a grin with Dawn over her head.
Success!
One of them couldn't be that hard to deal with! Sneaking a peak at the little demons Cordy failed to notice the tiny bit Xander's eyes were slit open.
Twinkies, twinkies twinkies! Xander chanted in his thoughts as he hugged the wall, hurrying down the hall, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Which wasn't all that hard considering everyone who was conscious was downstairs. Quiet and quick! Like G.I. Joe! "All American Hero!" he sang quietly as he got to the staircase. Peering around the railing cautiously he saw Willow at the kitchen table and there next to her, TWINKIES!
"Okay Commander Xander, how do we get the twinkies without the cooties?" he asked into his pretend walkie-talkie as he rounded the corner into the kitchen.
"Sneak attack!" He yelled in reply, raising his arms over his head, hands curved like claws he ran at Willow who screamed and scrambled off her chair.
"You must give me TWINKIE!" He 'roared'.
"Nuh uh! Mine!" was Willow's emphatic reply. She stomped her foot and glowered at the little boy.
"What is going on in here?" Cordelia demanded from the doorway, hands on her hips, eyes shooting her most forbidding glare at Willow and Xander. As usual it failed to work, not much of a shock considering its track record with intimidating these two.
Taking advantage of Willow's momentary distraction, Xander snatched the twinkie from her and in two shakes had stuffed the whole thing into his mouth.
Willow screamed, and screamed, and screamed again at the top of her lungs. Loud enough to wake the undead, or the other three munchkins upstairs whichever you preferred. Answering wails could be heard through the floor separating them, and it was all Cordelia could do to not plop herself onto the kitchen tile and do the same herself.
Getting a hold of herself she cast pleading eyes at Dawn. "Go get em please Dawnie." She appealed.
Dawn sighed and nodded, heading for the stairs. Satisfied the other three weren't unsupervised she turned to the crisis at hand. Trying to get Willow to shut up. A mean feat when she was sixteen, far less for three.
"Willow, Willow!" she called softly, stroking back the little girl's hair from her red-splotched face.
"You want I should try?" the lightly accented voice behind her asked.
"Thanks but I can handle it." She replied tersely, glaring over her shoulder at Doyle.
"Sure." Doyle replied, backing slowly out of the kitchen, hands raised in surrender.
"Willow," Cordy began in a bargaining tone. "If you stop crying we'll get you a new twinkie and we won't give Xander any."
The little girl continued to wail, heels and fists pounding the floor in the midst of a full on tantrum.
"No! No! No!" She chanted.
"Come on Wills! I'll give ya an ice lolly and a twinkie!"
"NO!" She screamed.
"Then what DO you want?" Cordelia asked, frustrated.
The mini witch stopped kicking and pounding and turned shrewd eyes on Cordelia.
"Can we go to the park?"
"You mean outside, where there are absolutely no walls to keep you five in?" Cordy paled.
Seeing her hesitation Willow allowed the tears to pool in her eyes again.
"Okay! Okay! The park it is!" She announced, wondering where on earth one purchased child leashes.
A very muffled "Cool!" came from behind them and the two turned to find Xander, perched on the edge of the counter, mouth full of one of the six twinkies he'd managed to devour while Willow and Cordelia had been playing 'lets make a deal'.
Dawn nearly started screaming herself when she got upstairs, the hallway was festooned with toilet paper and Buffy and Angel were being mummified together in the white tissue by Spike. The little blond was running around them, frantically unwinding with one hand while using the other to tap against his mouth producing what was supposed to be an Indian war cry. "bwa-bwa-bwa-bwa!" Spike continued, oblivious to his captive audience, the strip of toilet paper he'd wound around his head for a headpiece fluttered loose but he kept going.
"Who started this?" Dawn demanded as sternly as she could muster with the grin she was fighting. William froze, hand over his mouth, leg raised to take another step. Buffy and Angel's eyes grew wide and they began struggling with their bonds without much success. Finally Dawn leaned over and tore the tissue right down the centre releasing both shamefaced captives.
"All right, everyone gather up as much toilet paper as you can. You all threw it, you can help clean it up too." She ordered the tots rolling the strips in her hand into a ball and reaching for more.
Dawn was standing on her tiptoes trying to reach some paper that was stuck over one the pictures that lined the hallway grumbling about the amount of work this was when she felt a tug on her pant leg. Looking down into baby Angel's chocolate brown eyes all her irritation just melted. He was so cute!
"Dawnie, I gotta go pee pee." He announced.
Oh God! "Giles!" She called panicked. "Doyle! Cordelia!"
Nobody answered and Angel continued to squirm.
"Well, uh, do you know how to go?" Dawn asked Angel nodded and made to unzip his pants and show her. "That's okay. I believe you!" Dawn exclaimed, grabbing his wrist. "Alright, come on." She instructed, pushing open the bathroom door. One step in found her skidding across the floor and then landing with a thump, staring up at a ceiling encrusted with wads of wet toilet paper, which is what she'd skidded on in the first place she realized.
"Buffy..." she growled, there certainly hadn't been toilet paper in Angel's time, Spike's she wasn't all too sure about but still. "God, how many rolls did you three use?" She wondered, pushing up onto her elbows.
"Dawnie you got a boo boo!" Little Spike announced. Bouncing up and over to the sink he stood on his tip toes and wet a towel. Leaving the pipe running he came back over and pressed it to the small cut on her elbow, the other two crowded around anxiously and Dawn couldn't help but smile at them.
"Thank you William." She told Spike, taking the towel from him and rising to her feet. "Alright everybody, downstairs! Let's go!" the girl announced.
"But Dawnie, I still gotta go peepee!" Angel complained.
"Oh, right." Dawn sighed, reaching over she flipped up the toilet seat, pointed little Angel at it and then left the room with Buffy and Spike.
Dawn came downstairs to find Willow, Xander and Doyle on the couch watching 'Passions' while Cordelia cursed quietly to herself in the kitchen as she swept up twinkie wrappers and crumbs.
"Timmy!" Spike screamed, and plopped himself down on the couch next to Willow. Dawn giggled and sat Buffy down on the couch next to him before heading into the kitchen.
"Where's Giles?" She asked Doyle who shrugged and pointed at Cordelia who was just now emptying the contents of the scoop into the dustbin.
"Researching in the backyard. Gotta make sure we don't screw up the spell tomorrow and have to keep them like this for another forty-eight hours." Cordy grumbled.
"So what's the plan for this afternoon anyway?" Dawn asked, flopping into an armchair.
"We're going to the park!" Willow announced proudly.
"The park! Can we go on the carousel? Please oh please oh please!" Little Buffy pleaded.
Cordelia groaned and cast Doyle desperate looks. The half-bracken sighed heavily. "Give me twenty minutes, I want to see Luis and Sheridan's wedding and then I'll come with you."
"Thank you!" Cordy squealed, giving him an impulsive kiss on the cheek. Doyle turned an impressive shade of scarlet while Willow, Xander, Spike and Buffy giggled.
The laughter was abruptly cut off by a high-pitched scream from upstairs. "Angel!" Cordy and Doyle exclaimed at the same time, racing up the stairs as the little boy raced down babbling about a monster and a silver handle and the pee pee bowl.
"Maybe it'd be better if we took him outside and let him pee behind a tree from now on." Cordy suggested a little bit later in an undertone while Doyle comforted the terrified child. "What?" She demanded off his dirty look.
Thirty-five minutes later Passions ended, Luis and Sheridan weren't married, Teresa had said the word 'Ethan' sixty-eight times, Willow, Buffy and Spike were enraptured with Timmy and Tabitha and Cordelia had finally gotten Angel to stop crying. They were all just getting into the Angelmobile when Dawn ran back into the house. "I forgot something!" She explained, pulling open the front door and closing it with a slam behind her as she sped towards the stairs.
Doyle arched an eyebrow at Cordelia who shrugged back.
They weren't waiting long and leaving Giles to continue researching were soon on their way. The park was still fairly deserted but school didn't even let out for another half hour so that was expected. Everyone piled out of the car and the munchkins were about to scatter to the four winds when Dawn pulled out what she'd run back into the house for and a bright flash of light exploded from it that left them all blinking dazedly.
"Dawn!" Cordelia exclaimed, grabbing for the camera. "I feel bad enough being seen in public like this, I don't need it to be photographed for posterity!" She complained but Dawn merely grinned and danced out of Cordelia's reach.
"Oh come on! How many other pictures of baby Angel and Spike do you think there are? Plus it'll be great blackmail material for Buffy." Dawn replied, refusing to relinquish her hold on the camera.
Cordy finally conceded the point and every now and then the flashes would capture some adorable action the fearsome fivesome had committed.
"Okay, I get to be Priest Timmy." Spike announced, winding Willow's white hair ribbon around his throat. "An' you get to be Sheridan" He pointed at Buffy who was decked out in Joyce's feathered coat, "an' you get to be Luis." He pulled Angel to stand next to Buffy. "An' you get to be Kay, an' you get to be Miguel." He told Willow and Xander, pulling them over to stand behind Angel and Buffy. Dawn bounced over and deposited two daisy crowns on Buffy and Willow's heads and handed Angel and Xander a flower each.
"Why do you get to be Timmy, why can't I be Timmy!" Xander protested, plucking petals off his flower.
"No Me!" Angel yelled.
"No! Me!" Xander yelled back, looking ready to hit Angel.
"I get to be Timmy and nobody else!" Spike yelled at the top of his lungs.
Dawn finally stepped in and stopped the squabbling, while Cordelia convinced the girls to stop looking at their reflections in the fountain and back into place.
"They're so cute and easily influenced, it's like playing with my size Barbie's." Dawn enthused, grinning widely and snapping pictures. The girls had donned daisy chain crowns, bracelets and necklaces, to go along with their sundresses and sandals that would be their pretend wedding gowns and the boys had tucked their t-shirts into their shorts and had allowed Willow to 'fix' their hair so they looked 'marry-able'.
Dawn snapped pictures happily, Baby Willow and Xander, then Baby Buffy and Angel and finally little minister Spike who presided over the ceremonies with an adorably dignified air despite having at the last minute decided he didn't want to be the only one not getting married and so playing priest and groom all at once entering into a three-way marriage with Buffy and Angel.
"Merely free loved, we are gatered 'ere tday to marry Luis n' Sherdun n' Timmy," Little William intoned, slipping into place on Buffy's opposite side when he said Timmy and then going back to his previous spot. "An' Kay n' Miguel." He added quickly, seeing the look Willow was shooting him.
"D' you Liam Luis take Buffy Sherdun to be your awfully wedded wife?" He asked Angel who nodded.
"I do." Angel said and handed Buffy his flower, with a woeful look.
"And does me William Timmy, take Buffy Sheridan to be my wife." Spike asked as the minister.
Then turned around and answered "I do." Solemnly, handing Buffy another flower then he went back to being minister. "And does you Buffy take me an' Liam to be your husbands?" He asked and Buffy nodded, beaming at little Spike.
"Cool." Spike said then turned to Willow and Xander.
"Do you guys wanna marry each other?" He asked.
Willow looked at Xander, Xander looked at Willow. The two shrugged in unison. "We do." They agreed, exchanging flowers.
Spike grinned. "Den by the power vested in me, we's all hitched." He announced. "But no kissing da brides, cause they's got cooties!" he added, and took off before Buffy could hit him.
Xander gave Willow a shy kiss on the cheek before taking off after Spike. Buffy hit Angel and planted a big kiss on him before he could run off, which he did two seconds later a dazed look on his face.
"Just one more time!" Xander pleaded, jumping up and down on the planks of the merry-go-round.
"Please!" Angel took up the chant.
"Pretty please!" added Willow, flashing puppy dog eyes that rivalled Xander's in adorability.
"Oh all right!" Doyle finally acquiesced, gesturing grandly for Buffy, Spike and Dawn to get on the merry-go-round as well.
"Come on Cordy!" Dawn called.
"Pffft!" Cordy snorted. "Not a chance." the former May-Queen replied.
Dawn and Doyle exchanged evil glances then Doyle started to push, the merry-go-round beginning to pick up speed with each turn. Finally it was going at a respectable pace, too fast to jump off but not too fast to jump on Doyle reached out, grabbed Cordy around the waist with one arm and hauled her onto the platform with him, shrieking and cursing.
"Hush and enjoy the ride Princess." He murmured into her ear, grinning conspiratorially at Dawn who was almost doubled over laughing at the outraged look on Cordelia's face. "The kiddies are listening."
Cordelia turned and tried to glare at him but couldn't fight the grin slowly spreading across her face.
"Do you have any idea what this is doing to my hair!" She protested.
"Ah come on, Cor! The tousled look is in this fall." Dawn piped in, still giggling.
Cordy held her scowl for about two more seconds before erupting into giggles along with the rest.
Eventually the merry-go-round slowed to a stop and everyone got off besides Cordelia and Doyle who sat side by side, trying to get their balance back.
"I'm too old for this." Doyle complained, closing his eyes against the revolving trees and buildings.
"You're definitely too old for this." Cordy replied with a mischievous grin.
Doyle opened one eye to arch an eyebrow at her and smiled wryly.
"Doyle," baby Xander groaned, stumbling over. "I don't feel so good." He complained then leaned over and barfed partially digested twinkies all over Cordelia's sandals.
"Hello? Anybody here? I'm home." Joyce called to her silent house, fear curling in the pit of her stomach. There were supposed to be five toddlers in her house, there was no way it should be this quiet! Or this clean for that matter, she thought gazing around the freshly vacuumed living room. What if someone had come and kidnapped Buffy, her daughter was the slayer and she was also three years old at the moment it would be the perfect opportunity for some enterprising demon to take her out.
Just then there came a thudding noise from upstairs that made her heart leap into her throat. Picking up the baseball bat someone had left leaning against the wall she quietly made her way to the stairs and crept up them as silently as she could, swearing lightly under her breath when she forgot and trod in the middle of the fifth stair that squeaked horribly loud in the quiet house.
Holding her breath and freezing in mid step she stared anxiously up at the ceiling but when no footsteps came her way she slowly exhaled and continued to mount the stairs. At the top she glanced carefully around, still no intruders. Cautiously stepping into the hallway she advanced toward the bathroom where she could her noises. Raising the bat over her head with one hand, she flung the door open with the other, smack into Rupert Giles' behind, sending him stumbling forward.
"Giles!" She exclaimed, eyes going wide with shock.
"What the devil?" He spun around, wads of toilet paper falling out of his hands. "Oh, Joyce. So sorry about that." He apologized.
Joyce grinned wryly. "I can assure you Mr. Giles, I've heard much worse." She replied. "Besides I should be the one apologizing to you." She added, leaning the bat against the wall by the sink and retrieving the wastebasket while she was there. Offering the receptacle to him to throw the remaining wads of tissue paper in she shook her head. "I'd forgotten how much Buffy liked to do this when she was young. I'd come home to find the baby sitter in tears and Buffy covered in mounds of toilet paper, it got so that I only bought one roll and ran out to get more anytime we needed a new one." She told him, scooping up a few of the now dried pasty blobs and dumping them in. "But from the looks of it she got Willow and Xander into the action as well!"
"Angel and Spike, actually." Giles corrected with an almost grin.
"Really? I wouldn't have thought they had toilet paper in Angel or Spike's human days."
"What can I say? Buffy's a gifted teacher." Giles replied dryly, using the baseball bat to prod a few of the wads of toilet paper off the roof.
"Speaking of Angel and Spike, Giles, I've been meaning to talk to you about something..."
"Leaving them as they are, letting them grow up human you mean." Giles guessed, scooping up the flaking bits of toilet paper from the ground and into the wastebasket.
"It would be like a second chance for them. They don't even seem to remember their old selves!"
"And who would raise them? Or would we put them up for adoption?" Giles asked reasonably, still cleaning.
"I...I honestly hadn't thought that far ahead." Joyce confessed, shoulders drooping.
"I agree with you, it would be wonderful to leave them as they are and let them grow up as normal little boys but it really isn't our decision Joyce and this isn't the sort of thing that can be made by outsiders and Angel and Spike aren't exactly mentally developed enough to make this choice."
"I know." She replied dejectedly. She'd known all along that it wasn't a possibility but William and Liam's innocent gazes still haunted her, tugging at her heart strings knowing how unhappy each was at their correct age.
"In any case, the spell doesn't work that way. Everyone involved has to be restored or nobody goes back." Giles added gently, squeezing her shoulder lightly.
"And we can't keep them all three." Joyce whispered sadly. Willow hadn't intended the spell but she'd had such neglectful parents growing up. She knew Sheila and Ira Rosenberg barely spent any time with the girl, which had contributed greatly to her shyness, a shell she was only just beginning to break out of. Xander's parents were awful and she suspected his father was at least verbally abusive if he didn't hit Xander as well. And Buffy, her own beautiful Buffy -- who was The Slayer and destined to die young. The spell seemed like a cosmic gift, allowing these five a second chance at a normal life with loving parents and no demons. Giles was right though, it wasn't her decision to make, the spell would be undone and life would go back to normal. As normal as it got, in any case.
The front door slammed and the stampede of little feet into the house could be heard even from the second story. "Mom! I'm home!" Dawn called.
"Giles?" came Cordelia's shout as the two wandered into the living room while Doyle herded the kids to the downstairs bathroom to wash their hands.
"We better..." Joyce gestured to the door.
"Yes." Giles concurred wiping his glasses on the tail of his shirt. "After you." He motioned to the door and Joyce shot him a strained smile before setting down the basket and brushing her hands off on her pants.
"Time to face the conquering hordes." Joyce joked as she pulled the door shut behind them.
"Hmm?" The watcher's distracted gaze focused on her face.
"Five toddlers at dinnertime after an afternoon at the park. Not a pretty sight." She promised with a slight smile.
"I imagine so." Giles replied as they began to descend the stairs.
"Oh that is so gross. I'll never be able to wear these again! Trust Xander to ruin a perfectly good pair of shoes." Cordelia groused, spraying the sandals she held gingerly by the ankle straps with water from the hose. She'd left Doyle and Dawn to watch over the little terrors, padding outside barefoot to rinse out the vomit covered shoes, grumbling the whole time.
"How goes the great shoe cleaning?" asked Doyle dryly from the backstairs, interrupting Cordelia's muttered ranting.
Cordelia looked up, an evil glint in her eyes as she flicked the knob on the nozzle to turn the spray from one thin stream to a wide arcing spray and then aimed it at Doyle, soaking him in seconds.
"Hey!" He sputtered, batting ineffectually at the spray as he made his way down the porch steps and over to her, trying to wrench the nozzle out of her hands.
Slippery with the water and only one handed Cordelia's grip was easily pried off the hose, shrieking and struggling the two fought for dominance, giggling and slipping around on the wet grass. Cordy dropped the vomit covered sandals and grabbed onto the nozzle with both hands, turning the spray back at Doyle. Doyle gasped and grabbed for the hose, turning it back on her.
Finally Cordy slipped in the wet grass, and skidded into Doyle who in turn slipped and landed the two of them in an awkward embrace on the ground. Cordy smiled wryly at the seer,
"Comfortable? Can I get you a pillow?" She asked, laying still beneath him.
"Very." He teased, tucking a long wet lock of dark chestnut hair behind her ear.
She rolled her eyes and pushed ineffectually at his chest.
"Come on get off." She ordered and he reluctantly complied, rolling off her onto the grass.
They lay in companionable silence together, just staring at the sunset colours painting the clouds above their heads.
"So I suppose you're going to tell me you weren't referencing Farscape out there too!" Doyle teased, soaping the dish in hand.
"Ooooh Farscape! Crichton is so cute for an old guy!" Dawn piped in, receiving dirty looks from Giles and Joyce at the old guy comment, both had watched enough of the show with the girl to know Crichton was only in his mid-thirties. "I wish he'd get together with Chiana! She's so much cooler and she's way nicer to him than Aeryn is." Dawn added nonchalantly drying a dinner dish.
She, Doyle and Cordy had gotten stuck with the dinner dishes while Joyce and Giles watched the little demons in the living room, not much by way of a fair trade but such was life for adults.
"No Way! Are you Nuts! Crichton and Aeryn are..." Cordy cut herself off with a sheepish expression. "People I have never heard of?" She finished lamely.
"And Dennis was the one watching Sci-Fi Channel the other day." Doyle snorted.
"Oh, whatever!" Cordy exclaimed, flinging soap suds at a still giggling Dawn. "You watch Passions Doyle! That's way worse!"
"At least I admit to watching what I watch." He pointed out, receiving death glares from Ms. Chase in return.
"Bite me Doyle!"
"Ah fair Cordelia, your words woundeth me so." He replied, stumbling around the kitchen, hands clasped over his heart.
"Well, Cordelia certainly has Doyle well trained." Joyce noted with amusement, taking her eyes off the five who were enthralled by Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
Giles chuckled. "She certainly does. I'm glad, I didn't think she'd let anyone get close after that fiasco with Xander and Willow last year."
Joyce nodded with a sigh. "They're all so young and have been through so much hurt already."
"They're resilient though, they bounce back." Giles replied, watching Spike get off the floor rubbing his head from his tumble off the couch, Xander smirking proudly from his perch on the handle. Spike got back up on the couch and pushed Xander off the handle and then Willow smacked them both upside the head. He laughed as the two little boys rubbed their heads but took the warning to heart and stopped fighting. Ever the peacemaker, Willow was.
Giles sighed and shook his head.
"Why do you think she did this spell?" Joyce wondered, voicing his own thoughts.
"She and Xander have been on the outs since last fall after the 'fluking', with Oz gone and Buffy busy babysitting Spike, I guess she was feeling a little lonely and nostalgic for old times." Giles surmised, watching the eager young faces avidly drinking in the story. "I don't think she actually meant to turn her and Xander back into three year olds however."
Joyce smiled and stroked Angel's head where it rested against her knee. Little Liam was fast asleep, poor kid was all tuckered out. She would have loved to leave them like this. To not have them turn back into their adult selves, just hold them and keep them safe forever.
"Wingardjum levioza! Wingardium levioza!" Willow chanted as the movie ended and Giles and Joyce shepherded the little demons upstairs to bed. Well the movie actually wasn't over but Xander had spilled too much juice on Buffy and Spike had thrown a tantrum when Draco left the screen so the movie was over.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" She yelled in perfect imitation of Hermione pointing at Xander when she said it. And then to everyone's surprise, Xander levitated a good three feet off the floor.
Xander screamed, Willow screamed, Buffy screamed because she wanted a go and Spike and Angel hid behind Giles' legs in fear of the little witch.
"Xander!" Joyce's yelp turned into a cry of fear as Willow dropped her hand and Xander plummeted, caught in the nick of time thanks to Giles' quick reflexes.
"You were saying something about wishing we could keep them this way?" Giles asked dryly, setting mini Xand down.
Joyce made a face at him following the little demons up the stairs.
"Peeing! Peeing! La la la La la!" Buffy hummed taking her turn going potty on the 'big girls' toilet before going to bed. "I done peeing?" She wondered out loud. "I' done peeing." she decided bellowing "MOMMY! I"M FINISHED!" at the top of her lungs. Joyce smiled and shook her head, ushering Buffy out of the bathroom and pushing in Liam who was still afraid of the PeePee Monster.
Doyle wakes up and the first thing he notices is Cordy's hand isn't hanging down over the side of the bed. Rising up on his elbows he peeks at the bed, still no Cordy. Getting to his feet he wanders out of the bedroom, scratching his head and staring fuzzily at the clock on the wall. It isn't even four a.m. yet. He finds her cuddling a sleeping baby Angel in the armchair in Joyce's bedroom and can't help but smile at the sight. Running a thumb across her cheekbone he calls her name softly, smiling down when her hazel eyes flutter open.
"Hey, what are you doing in here?" the seer asks, as Cordy nuzzles her cheek into his palm letting her eyes fall shut. When she opens them again they are sparkling with unshed tears.
"He had a nightmare and woke up, I was coming back from the bathroom and found him sitting in the corner of the hall in the dark by himself trembling because he was so scared but even more afraid of waking someone. He said his dad would thrash him if he did that at home. He was so relieved when I picked him up Doyle, so happy and trusting. He had absolute faith that I could make things right for him." She whispered, fingers unconsciously running through the dark hair resting on her shoulder.
"He's so sad all the time when he's Angel, Doyle. He gets this kicked puppy look and I just wanna hug him and tell him it'll be okay but he's so much of a 'don't touch me' kind of person and I'm not exactly the most touchy feely either,"
"So you're doing it now, while you can." Doyle finished for her and Cordy nodded with a faint smile, hugging the toddler on her lap closer.
"He does it for me every day." She whispered. "You both do." The ex-cheerleader amended, looking right into Doyle's blue eyes. "I don't say it but just having the two of you around makes me feel like it will all be okay, and I should probably shut up now, I get more sentimental the later at night it gets." She said and if Doyle didn't know better he'd think she was blushing as she buried her nose in Angel's hair, inhaling that clean baby smell.
The half demon lightly stroked her cheek and settled in against the base of her chair, resting his head on the piece of cushion left over from where Cordelia had her knees curled up under her.
"Doyle," She began but he put a hand on her knee and caught her eyes.
She smiled softly at him, and subsided while he returned to his previous position. She'd go back to being a bitch in the morning she decided, revelling in the warmth of his shoulder where her knees pressed against it.
Joyce came quietly down the stairs, a sleepy baby Buffy in her arms on the way to the kitchen for breakfast so Buffy wouldn't wake the others who were thankfully still asleep to find Giles sprawled on his stomach across her pullout sofabed. The covers kicked off and lying in a pile on the floor, sweatshirt all out of skew, showing that he may have given up the tweed but not the layers, displaying the white t shirt he wore undereath it. Joyce sat buffy down on the armchair and turned on Saturday morning cartoons. It had been a few years, even with Dawn but Cartoon Network never failed her before and it didn't now, the theme song for The Jetsons reaching her ears as she broke eggs into a bowl.
"Giles!" Buffy whined, poking her watcher's inert form. He grunted in his sleep and rolled onto his back, arm thrown over his head. She crawled up onto the couch and poked him some more. Her little fingers smooshed his cheeks together and she giggled at the fish-face he was making. "Giles! Giles! Giles!" she chanted pulling up an eyelid that refused to open.
Giles wakes up to a toddler who has squirmed underneath his sweater, her head poking out of the neck beneath his own, golden curls tickling his chin.
"What the...? Buffy?" He asks the giggling mop which pulls away, stretching his shirt collar horribly, to turn and look him in the face. "Giles! You wakey!" She announces happily.
"Uhm...er..." Giles' stuttering is cut off by Joyce's laughter from the kitchen doorway.
"She used to do that with her father when she was about this age. She and Hank watching Saturday morning cartoons, some days I wondered who was the real kid." Joyce's smile was just slightly wistful.
"He doesn't come up much anymore does he?" Giles asked, Buffy happily giggling at the cartoons on TV and ignoring their conversation.
"No, not as often as she'd like." Joyce replied, running an affectionate hand over Buffy's uncombed bed hair.
Dawn paused on her spot on the stairs still unseen by Joyce or Giles and grimaced, gagging silently. Man would she be glad when Giles wasn't spending the night at their house anymore, these early morning shippy scenes between him and her mom were just plain creepy, she turned tail and crept quietly back up the stairs breaking up the first one had been embarassing enough.